I Think God has Grown Tired of Me

Watching the documentary on the "Lost Boyz of Sudan" i feel like my life is less influential because of who i am today-a Lost Boy.

i feel like i can identify so much with the Lost Boyz of Sudan because of not being around family or people who understand my culture and yet we all need a place we can call home.

the influence that one human being has on a society is built around the support he/she receives from those around him/her.

War in Sudan led to so many deaths and so many lives have been changed also because of the loss of family members and the loss of a place to call home but the one thing the people of Sudan haven't lost is the sense of who they are because of the value they place on their culture.

I know we can learn from different cultures because no culture is perfect but we can only learn to value those who are different from us if we respect the differences in culture.

That is never easy especially if you have a weak heart.

When you see someone cry would you ask them what is wrong or would you walk on by?

Even though i have been brought up in a different culture i believe at the core of every human being there is the need to be accepted.

Some people might act tough, like they have no need for others but if we really believed we could live all alone then we would try and live on an island by ourselves.

I hope God doesn't grow tired of me because i try to act like i don't need you.



Ephany.

Poverty

Luke 12:15 Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."
i sometimes thank GOD for not having much because it makes me rely on him more.

so is it okay for me to be poor or do i have to be concerned about what others think of me?

if i store for myself riches on earth and then die the next day what good will that do?

Jesus taught that we should only be concerned with the riches we store in heaven right?????


let me know what you think?

A New Language

When you're learning a new language it is always best for you to keep practicing that language or you might easily lose it.

I have slowly been learning a few words in Spanish, words that I have probably learnt before but because I wasn't keen on practicing those few words at the time my minute grasp of the language was lost.

Now that I'm relearning it I am more determined to practice it in order for me to keep it so don't act surprised when you hear me say something funny in Spanish :) as I have three roommates who are Latino and so I want to be more conscious of their culture by learning their language.

So what does it mean for me to learn the Christian language called Love since I call myself a Christian?

Well after taking numerous classes on Theology I have to confess that my grasp of this language is slowly waning. Due to a lack of emphasis on practice all the knowledge I have gained is practically of no good.

We know that no one can claim to have seen God- actually 1 John 4:12 says, "no one has ever seen God but (and this is a big but!) IF we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."

So for me to know God I have to Love God and to Love God I have to Love others.


The apostle John helps me reconcile this idea when he says, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear..." (1 John 4:18)


When we rely on the love God has for us we become fearless in the midst of any circumstance we might face for God is love (1 John 4:16)-and his love drives out fear.

I hope to think about this as often as possible because sometimes I feel like I don't fit in because ..., or I find it hard to love others because..., so it comforts me to know that God Loves me and his love is made complete when I LOVE OTHERS.

So may HIS Love be made complete in us as we practice the language of Love.


p.s-For those preparing for Finals I pray his perfect Love will see you through.



Love,
ephany.

CUPID

you won't know unless you give it a try
people will turn their backs on you
but looking back won't change anything
they might judge you by the color of your skin
or by how much you make
but they will never stop you from dreaming,

they might make you cry and take away your wings
but that doesn't mean you won't be able to fly
try to pray even when its hard to
so that if they ever see what's in your heart
they will see that my love is true.

Bwana ametoa uzima bure
na yule atakaye atapata bure

songea songea - songea
songea songea - songea
songea songea

baraka zakungojea

songea mama yangu
songea baba yangu
songea dada - songea

baraka kwake yesu

A New Beginning

"Every story has an end but in life every ending is just a new beginning."

be humble
don't rumble like Ali in the jungle
be kind
a few good men are hard to find

The Letter T

I don't know how to love, could you show me...

Psalm 27:14

Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

Insecurity

Insecurity plagues me
as i try to understand the light
those i have met make me even
more scared of discovering who i am,
if i am made in the image of love
why do i struggle with insecurity?

my sin plagues me
you see me everyday
maybe you even think of me
when i am not thinking of you
but the question is
do you still love me

how do i know that you love me
when i am afraid and lonely
will the truth help me to survive
the pain of rejection, abuse and hunger
Lord, i just want to know the answer
to give to a lonely and broken heart.




God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.

6If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. 7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all^[b] sin.


If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.


If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.

"Faith expressing itself through Love"

"The righteous will live by faith."

You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.

not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?

Psalms 130

5 I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.

6 My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

you are what you are in this world

"you are what you are in this world
you are either somebody or you are nobody"

you can't run from who you are
but you can run from who you can be
for if the world tells you who you are
then you will never really know
who you were truly meant to be

Love

If only you could love enough you would be
the happiest and most powerful being in the world...
~Emmet Fox~

Your Love

its a starless night tonight
but i still stare at the sky
waiting for a change, hoping for your love
as i age and turn over a new page.

breath of life taketh my heart
to a place where we are not worlds apart
for i fear falling away
like stars during the day,

i listen to your voice
as i try to fall asleep
and i remember how to pray.
Father, for those who are in pain
or are filled with shame
may the mention of your name
make possible what seems to be in vain.

Refuge

you know my thoughts
without your help
i will soon dwell in the silence of death
My foot is slipping, Lord
support me
when anxiety is great within me
may your consolation bring joy to my soul
Lord become my fortress
be the one in whom i take refuge

live life....

i hope to live life so as to be missed...
crazy as it is, on my birthday i hope this
one wish does come true.

crack-pot

i'm an earthen vessel
a pot moulded by the maker
when i'm broken that's when
the light comes in...

be lifted high

i pray Jesus that your story may be heard
when they talk about me
when i die
may your name be glorified,
may you be lifted high.

scarlet letter

Scarlet Letter

Words hide the emotions

that I struggle to forgive

so I try to write

what my heart can not stop to fight

when I try to pray you turn me away

for my letter ‘A’ that is etched to stay

yet I am made of clay and made to pay

for all that happened yesterday

am I her mother if I let her be

without a father she can see

or will life be so unkind to she

that she will turn her back to flee

i know my actions are my own

but the sin in me is hard to atone

leaving my child without a home

is nothing i am proud of, God my heart is torn.

I know only misery

as a preacher i am not so strong

how tough can it be to weather the storm

when they play me the song

love keeps no record of wrong

your peace we seek Christ, yes, for so long


Is there another GOD who can touch believers

to embrace the sinners who are just beginners

in their search for someone who can redeem us

for with enemies on either side

a true face is much harder to find.

if...

if i had enough love
i would never be hurt by the things that people do or say
if i had enough love
i would share what i had and not be selfish in any way
if i had enough love
i would never turn away from those who are close
or far away
if i had enough love
i would trust in miracles everyday
if i had enough love
i would be wiser than the wisest men
if i had enough love
i would sit among sinners for i am one of them
if i had enough love
i would humble myself and allow others to feed me
if i had enough love
i would care to love others as much as i love myself
if i had enough love
i would want to be loved.

Changing People From the Inside Out

Changing People From the Inside Out

In my early days as a reporter, I saw terrible poverty. I remember sitting in a dark, mildewed cellar that was home to immigrant parents with several children, the rain pouring through the ceiling and a rat running across the floor. I listened in disbelief as the distraught father told me how much rent he was paying his landlord.

Not long after, I was in a remote country where the fly-blown carcass of a skinny goat or pig lay outside the doorless entry to a hovel that someone called home. It was left outside because the stench of the decimated animal that would feed the family for another week was impossible to bear inside.

Most of us have seen or experienced social injustice in one way or another, and sometimes it etches itself on our memory as this did to mine. Exposed to extreme injustice for long enough, some Christians conclude that their primary obligation is to attack what they see as its root cause by engineering changes in government, by force or revolution if necessary. It’s easy to pick passages from the New Testament to prove that Jesus was a constant thorn in the side of the ruling elite. He cleared the temple of money changers. He condemned the Pharisees for their insistence on burdensome traditions that weighed on the common people. He urged the rich to give away their goods to the poor.

But, if we take it no further than His criticism of some of the Establishment figures of the day, I believe that we are left with a narrow and inadequate view of Jesus Christ. It makes Him less than He was, and robs His teachings and life of what was unique. He had plenty of opportunity to condemn the oppressive Romans. Yet Jesus paid also taxes and advised the people to “render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s.”

His message was not revolution in the way we usually understand that word. He was about changing people’s hearts from the inside, one at a time if necessary. Certainly, He would have people help the homeless family from their poverty with a lift up – but He would also change the heart of the landlord, permanently. Rather than stir up anger in others, He urged them to be peacemakers and to pray for their enemies. By so doing, He would change the very thinking of those who have the power to effect more lasting change.

A former president of my Church said some years ago: "The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of people, and then they take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature."

Jesus Christ did not come to the world to forcibly engineer social revolution or foment rebellion, but to effect spiritual regeneration. He testified of the Father who sent Him. He urged love of God and one’s neighbor and asked those who heard Him to forsake sin. He said repeatedly that His kingdom was not of this world. The consummation of His mission was not rebellion, but reconciliation through the Atonement and the Resurrection.

Posted by Michael Otterson on May 13, 2007 11:32 AM

This is one of the better articles i have read.

Jesus calls us to follow him as individuals but as we continue to let his spirit work on us, then we are able to come together and effect change.

Jesus Broke Barriers; Pope Builds Them

Pope Benedict XVI and his predecessor John Paul II have consistently put themselves on the side of the aristocracy, the landowners and the well-to-do in Latin America. Local Roman Catholics like Leonardo Boff and Bishop Romero, in contradistinction, put themselves on the side of the poor and dispossessed. Bishop Romero was murdered. Leonardo Boff was laicized.

The issue is not so much whether Jesus was a social revolutionary or not, the real issue is why Benedict XVI is not.

Posted by John Shelby Spong on May 13, 2007 4:59 PM

the writer of this article abdicates his own responsibility and instead pours blame, which is always the easiest thing to do.

Was Jesus a revolutionary?

In Latin America, Social Justice Central to Faith

Was Jesus a revolutionary?

Well … obviously not in the conventional sense. Yet, with the pope in Brazil last week to open a meeting of the Catholic Bishops Conference of Latin America and the Caribbean, the question has surfaced again. Why? Because this region, which has the most Catholics, is also the most unequal in the world. While Catholic leaders worry about growing secularization and the hemorrhaging of the faithful to Pentecostal churches, pervasive poverty is impossible to ignore. So is the familiar question, What would Jesus do?, and another, What should his followers do?

Most agree they should feed the hungry and clothe the naked. But what about the policies and institutions that generate death-dealing poverty? Not all agree on a response. Bishop Hélder Câmara of Brazil used to say, “When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist.”

Some, including some bishops, see the church’s mission as the salvation of souls –of rich and poor alike. For these Christians, promoting justice, although important, is not strictly “religious.” It ranks low on the church’s agenda.

For others, social justice is central to the faith. The poor –meaning all oppressed and vulnerable people-- are the crucified vicars of Christ today. Unless the church walks with them, it fails to walk with him.

Take Guatemala, where half the children under five are chronically undernourished and wealth and income are extremely concentrated. How can the church announce a credible good news (“gospel”) there, if it fails to denounce that situation? Fortunately, the church in Guatemala does protest --and suffers for its trouble.

Christians with this justice-oriented faith place the poor at the center of their worldview and at the top of the church’s agenda. For them, the same Jesus who said, “My kingdom is not of this world” also said, “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth.” His kingdom (or reign) does not “proceed from” this world, with its lies and violence. (If it did, Jesus said, his followers would have fought to rescue him.) Jesus was telling Pilate, “My politics are very different from yours and Caesar’s.”

His are the divine politics of truth and service, of a “reign” that transforms social relations as well as souls. This implies that the clergy do well not to run for Congress. Their job is different from Caesar’s. On the other hand, we dare not privatize religion, isolating it from politics. Rather, let church leaders stay free enough to remind Caesar that he will have to render to God an account for the fate of the poor and weak.

Countless Christians --like bishops Oscar Romero in El Salvador and Juan Gerardi in Guatemala and Sister Dorothy Stange in Brazil—have suffered death in recent years in defense of the poor in Latin America.

Their examples will help keep the social question on the Church's agenda.

J. Dean Brackley has taught theology at the Universidad Centroamericana in El Salvador, Central America since 1990, where he also serves as pastor in an urban community. Brackley was born in the U.S. in 1946, entered the Jesuit order in 1964 and was ordained in 1976. He received his doctorate in theological ethics at the University of Chicago in 1980. In the 1970s and 1980s, he worked in social ministry and popular education in New York City, before teaching briefly at Fordham University (1989-90). His most recent book is "The Call to Discernment in Troubled Times."

Posted by Dean Brackley on May 12, 2007 1:08 PM

On A Quest For Love

What does it mean to Love

I will proclaim the decree of the LORD :
He said to me, "You are my Son ;
today I have become your Father.

Ask of me,
and I will make the nations your inheritance,
the ends of the earth your possession. (Psalm 2:7-8)

No Sex...

No sex and ignorance

could be the key to a happy and longer life.

Mr Grigoriy Nestor last week celebrated his 116th birthday.

The goatherd from near Kiev in Ukraine, attributes his longevity to two things: No sex, and ignorance.

He said: “I have never had a wife. People who get married just argue all the time, and that’s not good for your health”.

He added: “The less you know, the longer you live. People who know too much always come to a nasty end. Better to stay stupid and not know too much about anything.”

A wise child brings joy to a father; a foolish child brings grief to a mother.

be safe and be happy :)

True Riches

If a believer is poor, he should be proud
because God has made him spiritually rich.
If he is rich, he should be proud because God
has shown him that he is spiritually poor. (James 1:9-10)


It was by faith that Moses, when he grew up,
refused to be called the son of the king of
Egypt's daughter.
He chose to suffer with God's people instead of
enjoying sin for a short time.
He thought it was better to suffer for the Christ
than to have all the treasures of Egypt.
He was looking only for God's reward. (Hebrews 11:24-26)

Keep your lives free from the love of money.
And be satisfied with what you have. (Heb. 13:5)

Do not forget to do good to others.
And share with them what you have.
These are the sacrifices that please God. (Heb. 13:16)

If God is Love, then Who are We?

LIVERPOOL go to ATHENS!

Amazing game.
Liverpool fc totally deserve to be in the final
after winning on penalties 4-1.

Great Day for all Liverpool supporters.

fundi wa mbao

nimependwa na fundi wa mbao

Hezeh Ndungu ananibamba on Youtube!

Rurumukia-atasijui inamaanisha nini na mini mkyuk.

salimia fundi wa mbao ukipata time.

Psalm 55-Meditation

The Lord says, "All you who are thirsty,
come and drink.
Those of you who do not have money,
come, buy and eat!
Come buy wine and milk.
You don't need money; it will cost you
nothing.
Why spend your money on something that
is not real food?
Why work for something that doesn't
really satisfy you?

You ask me to listen closely to you
and I will eat what is good
I will enjoy the food that satisfies my
soul.

The Lord says, "Your thoughts are not like
my thoughts.
Your ways are not like my ways.
Just as the heavens are higher than the
earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways.
And my thoughts are higher than your
thoughts.

Rain and snow fall from the sky.
They don't return without watering the
ground.
They cause the plants to sprout and grow.
And the plants make seeds for the
farmer.
And from these seeds people have bread
to eat.

The words I say do the same thing.
They will not return to me empty.
They make the things happen that I want
to happen.
They succeed in doing what I send them
to do.

So you will go out with joy.
You will be led out in peace.
The mountains and hills will burst into
song before you.
All the trees in the fields will clap their
hands.
Large cypress trees will grow where
thornbrushes were.
Myrtle trees will grow where weeds
were.
These things will be a reminder of the
Lord's promise.
And this reminder will never be
destroyed."

April 16

Virginia Tech shooting

what led to this sad incident
i'm struggling to find answers
maybe you can tell me
do you want to...
or are you searching for the answers too

i think we all are
if we share how we feel
someone might find a place to heal
this life is a journey
but the more we turn our backs
on each other
the longer we take
to reach our destination.

SORRY

words don't come by easily

saying the right words at the right time
who can master that
things go wrong
and i struggle to hold on
as my world is so small
empty with no room to breathe
is there anything i can give

i cry inside and hide
you seem not to understand
i'm not asking for much
just your trust
its dark and lonely every night
my love just won't go down without a fight

even if we pretend
every act has to come to an end
as we look for a friend
who will never turn us away
or make us feel afraid
we are stuck with who we are
like a rapper without a beat
without you i'm never complete.

May God watch over you

how could someone like you
love someone like me
full of mistakes and insecurity
when you look at my heart
tell me what do you see
that makes you love me so

is it the nails that pierced in your side
or the moment you dropped your head
and you died
for a sinner like me you gave up your life
its time to let you know
Lord I
surrender
i give you
all i am
its not much but i hear you
calling

so here i am
standing in your grace

May God watch over you
and keep you

Whom the son sets free
is free indeed.

love

cont...

i'm torn
between rock and hip hop
a passion so strong

Love

love isn't something i do
its something i need
you can't give me love
for it only comes from above

trapped in a closet
afraid to face a world
that is empty without love
you can't give me what you don't have

emotions run wild
my body still longs
for a girl who is strong
who i can take home
so we can be forever
like the church in Rome

I Can't Pretend

i can't pretend anymore
my life is meaningless
what do i have
except my black self
all i know makes no sense
i might as well be on the cross
for i can't save myself
from this empty meaningless life
those i've tried to love
are no longer close to me
and i'm no longer close to them
i'm miles apart from everything
i used to know
the truth is
people are people
they will use you and abuse you
all we do is think of ourselves
i wish this was a cry for help
but its already too late
you mean nothing to me
and i mean nothing to you
if we actually cared
life would actually be fair.

i was reading the book of Jeremiah and chapter 2 jumped out at me.

"My people have committed two sins:
They have forsaken me,
the spring of living water,
and have dug their own cisterns,
broken cisterns that cannot hold water

i really want to be faithful in word and deed.
it seems ridiculous to most in this day and age
i mean nobody is perfect so we should do what we feel is right...

how can we preach the word of God
if we are not following the word of God

Israel during Jeremiah's time forsook God
and decided to worship idols
can someone tell me that this is not happening in America???

IMMIGRATION
Why are white americans fighting immigrants from Latin countries who work for them from being Americans just like them...
they talk about following the law but whose law are we talking about
Minorities in this Country (America) have received unjust treatment for a very long time and yet very few of the white majority of Americans have ever spoken out or acted to correct this unjust situation.
Now that their position is threatened by the hard working Hispanic community they feel that it is wrong for them to be given benefits-i don't know any hispanic person who doesn't work, so why aren't they entitled to health benefits and other things that a normal working human being should have?
Instead of fighting injustice they are still blinded by their egos.

If we started caring for others
maybe others would start to care for us.

sincerely,
Pathetic.

PATHETIC!

what tastes sweet can taste sour
you think you have money
then you have power
what you need is to wait for the final hour
watch your life grow like a flower
feed it with love and wisdom then you will truly be
a ruler in the kingdom

we turn away from those who hurt us
like the way we have slaves and masters
if i could i would rhyme much faster
maybe then i would be a really cool pastor
my passion is to reach the masses
treat them with the word when it hurts
like doctors and nurses


its still hot so it will keep coming out
there are people with wealth
but their money will never count
what you give is what you get
even after my time is up
i'll still be living it up
a kid from Nairobi
who never takes life like a hobby


i could keep going on
but i think you're already feeling my song
there is hope for those who suffer
because we have a God
who calls himself our Father
don't let go when the pain feels so strong
just let him know and keep holding on


sincerely Pathetic.

The Chuch is Dead as I know it

a better tomorrow

just keep it coming
lets go

i mean imagine life without the grace of God

attention!
the church is dead
as i know it
no one feels compelled to listen
to a young dude
who has a passion for Christ
all people want is to watch other people on a screen
acting out a role
entertainment feels better than the real thing

so lets make the church about entertainment
or lets make it something we do on Sunday
and go back to a life of sinning
instead of winning
souls that are froze
in a world thats cold
forget those who are poor
their lives don't matter thats for sure
what i want
is to make more money
and listen to my ipod
why should i try to be your friend

show me a leader
and i'll show you someone who cares
someone who is not ashamed
and is ready to dare
a system that sucks
the lives of so many into poverty, hopelessness
selfishness and homelessness
someone who is not afraid to speak the truth
just read the story of a lady named Ruth.

another prayer to recite

another day, another song, another prayer to recite...

i'm contemplating being a matyr
i had this strange dream today that i was in a matatu (a mat-i know) and there was a huge traffic jam on mombasa road...

maybe i am stuck in traffic and i need to get out and take a walk!

i still struggle to connect with the world

Who needs Jesus

Who needs Jesus?

outside my window
someone got shot
then the other day I saw
someone smokin pot

who is guilty
the dealer on the street
or the believer
who can't stand on his feet

see the cross
is just a symbol of what I lost
the ability to turn away
since I was born again in May

so I beg you to pray
that our faith will not stand in the way
of reaching those who find it hard to stay
and live for another day.

its not about the numbers
its about saving souls

i listen to you talk
and wish you would walk
what can cats do
if they can't find you
where is your light
is it shining bright

darkness overwhelms you
because without Christ
you keep searching for the truth
while the truth has been illuminated
so let what hinders you be eliminated

God is screaming, come seek me

Mungu Akubariki (God bless you in swahili).

the Bangin' Church

Sign up for the Bangin' Church

a. this is a church created with the intention of reaching friends and foes.
b. we seek to have true communion.
c. this is a church that is open to all colors, races, ethnicities, classes and gender.
d. we are not going to just say what we believe, but we are going to live it out.
e. we are open to questions about faith.
f. Christ is our Lord and we are his disciples.
g. we agree to disagree while always open to his Holy Spirit.
h. we aim to engage with the culture.
i. Giving is the highest virtue, money only corrupts.
Ecclesiastes 5:10Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless.Ecclesiastes 5:9-11 (in Context) Ecclesiastes 5 (Whole Chapter)
Matthew 6:24"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

when i try to write, i think about what i go through
i've given up too much to stop now
my heart is in the right place but so many times
i find the church lost in the times
you might not even agree with me
or celebrate with me but i hope you can pray
that God will walk with me as i courageously
walk out in faith


Give em the Gospel

true worship leads us to repentance
if I was born to lead men
then I would lead them to Christ
you heard this before, he is the only one i'm living for
this ain't a movement, this is the church
that's bangin'

from L.A to N.A (Nairobi) he is better than the money
what you think about that sonny
we change all the time
but his grace never changes with time
do you love this life
or do you feel like there is a void in your life
clinging to the things that you see
hoping that that will set you free
listen this sounds just like me

minus God
I'd be somewhere on broad in a browl
over some broad
following that road thats broad
instead of this road thats narrow
in a path of God's wrath
fall back like a bow and arrow

i'd be a heretic minus a savior
if not for God's unmerited kindness and favor

he is seeking you, he is seeking to
raise you from the grave too
he can change you
rearrange you
his amazing grace can save you.



SIGN UP FOR THE CHURCH
THAT'S BANGIN'

The word bangin' is an adjective describing anything or anyone that is better than good. Generally great, awesome, remarkable, amazing, incredible or wonderful in the truest sense imaginable.

'We commissioned to go fishing'

SINCERELY,
EPHANY.